Cupcakes!

Conner and I made Easter cupcakes this morning while Shep napped. He was so excited. He could hardly wait for them to finish cooking.

I let him frost his own. We went on the back porch because I figured that was safer=)

He loved it!

The finished product! (I finished it for him...) Yummy!!



We took some over to the apartment office, to some friends nearby. It was just too dangerous to have 24 cupcakes in my kitchen. I also want the boys to learn about doing things for other people.

Big Week for Conner

So, Conner (anyone who knows him well is NOT going to believe this) has weaned himself from his passie. He just doesn't ask for it anymore. Last night he fell asleep without it for the first time in his 26 months of life. He never asked for it and never cried. Wow...that was painless. It took him until almost 10 pm to fall asleep (I think the passie relaxes him), but it usually takes him awhile to fall asleep anyway.

In other news, Conner also stopped napping this week. He gave up his morning nap on the young side, so it didn't surprise me when he gave up his afternoon nap young as well. My mom-in-law said her boys were all pretty young. Guess it runs in the genes=) He still has to have an hour of alone time (for both our sanity) in his room. He usually lays or stands as close to his door as possible without technically being out of his room...haha. Yesterday he actually fell asleep for a little while, so that was nice.

So yes, in addition to starting the potty training journey Conner gave up both his nap and his passie. Guess I really have a big boy now!!

I just have to gush on the weather lately!! IT.IS.AMAZING! We walked to the grocery story a little bit ago for some fresh produce. Sunny, 80 and a slight breeze. Not a cloud in the sky. Oh, I can't wait to be able to swimming soon! It won't be long now.

I also can't wait til we can be a family on the week-ends. I was kinda sad last night. Zack didn't get home until almost 8 pm and still had lots to do. I look forward to the day when we can do fun Friday night things. I can't wait til we can go for walks or to the park or to the farmer's market on Saturdays. It will be so much fun to do "family things". Ok, so I didn't mean to end this post on a sad note.

Prayer

I have been convicted lately that I don't pray enough for my children. The last few days I have been making a concerted effort to pray for them more. To pray for their salvation, for behavorial issues and for patience and wisdom in disciplining them.

God has blessed it! I feel so much more joy and energy. I know my children are a blessing and heritage from the LORD, but I have been praying that I would see them more and more that way. What a privilege to raise children for his kingdom!

Conner has been struggling a lot with obedience and anger lately. Some days I felt like he didn't obey one thing I said and usually did quite the opposite. He's the child that if when you tell him to stay in his room will very slowly inch his feet forward until he reaches the door way and watch you for your reaction as he slowly pushes a foot across the threshold. Today he did much better.

Bedtimes and naptimes have continued to be a struggle as well. The past few weeks have been rough. It isn't unusual for it to take him 2 hrs to go to sleep at night. He gave his nap up this week, too. I've been praying for his sleeping and God has been answering. Conner has slept through the night the past two nights and has slept til well after 7. Tonight a MIRACLE happened. Conner was sitting on the loveseat looking through a car magazine I found for free at the library. He walked over to Zack and I around 8 pm and said, "Good night Momma, good night dada" and walked into his room and sat on his bed. He has been laying quietly looking through books since. This has NEVER happened. He has NEVER volunteered to go to bed. We just looked at each other and laughed.

I really think God is trying to tell me that he does bless those who seek him. When I try to be a Mom in my own strength I am discouraged, overwhelmed and down right sad at times. A few days ago I really felt like I couldn't do it anymore...I felt like a failure. God has been so gracious. I don't know why I continue to doubt Him and blame Him when things aren't going right in my life.

Thank you God for what you have been teaching me about my own heart. Thank you for giving me a desire to seek you. Thank you for allowing me to see progress in the life of my children. I feel so young and inadequate. Thank you GOD that you are faithful when I am so faithless.

In the Beginning Part 1

Here is Shep's Story, Part 1. It's more for me than for anyone else. With Shep's 1st birthday fast approaching I find myself forgetting so many little details that you think you would never forget.

It was Sept 2, 2008 around 1 pm. Conner was 7 1/2 months old. I was beginn

ing to think something must be up. I was tired. Much more tired than usually. I was having to go to the bathroom all the time and I suspected my milk was drying up. What if I was pregnant...again. I had already had one "unplanned" pregnancy. I had a pregnancy test at home. I took it, turned it over and left the room. I was afraid to look. I finally got the courage to turn it over. It was positive. I was in shock. I started crying, asking God why this was happening. We lived in a 700 square foot apartment. Zack would still have 3 more years of school. We had no money, no insurance and no family around to help.

Spencer and Ashley had gotten engaged the week-end before. Literally, a few minutes after I found out I was pregnant, Ashley called me to ask me to be in the wedding! She said it would be in May. I remember thinking, a new baby, a graduation and a wedding...this is going to be a busy month!

I know this sounds weird, but I didn't tell Zack until Saturday morning. I knew he wouldn't be upset, but I was in denial. He was playing with Conner on the couch. I showed him the test and told him Conner was going to be a big brother. He was excited. Two of his brothers are about 16 mo apart and best friends. He was excited for Conner to have a sibling to grow up with. Seeing his excitement and thinking about how fun it would be to have two little ones growing up together made me more excited.

Slowly I began to get more excited. I saw a newborn in church one Sunday and felt something welling up within me. The baby was so tiny and beautiful.

I wasn't able to go to the doctor until the October when we got a

ll the insurance worked out. I was nervous as we got ushered back to the ultrasound room. The smiling face of the technician helped me to relax. She started the ultrasound and I breathed a huge sigh of relief and wiped away a few tears as I saw our precious new baby for the first time. I had started to grow attached to this child that I hadn't even seen or felt yet. I was almost 12 weeks. You could already see the baby's toes and fingers. She set my due date to May 9th.

The end of October, at 14 1/2 weeks I had a huge scare. I started spotting significantly. I guess it is fairly normal, but I never had anything like that happen with Conner. I was alone at home with Conner. I called the clinic but got put on hold. I tried to call a nurse and got put on hold. Zack was in a lesson and didn't answer his phone. I was afraid. I woke Conner from his nap and started driving to the doctor's office. When I got there I explained to the receptionist what was going on. I was fighting back the tears. When Zack called me back I told him what was happening. I could barely get it out. He had taken the bus to school that day and had no car with him. He was scrambling to try to figure out how to get to me. I was in the waiting room for a very long time. Conner was tired. I had been in such a hurry I didn't even have a drink fo

r him. I finally talked to someone at the desk again and she went back to see how much longer it would be. Conner was crying and I had no one to help me. Zack had still not made it. Finally, I got called back. One of the nurses was holding Conner, who was crying hysterically as I got up on the exam table. I was shaking. I held my breath. There was a heartbeat and everything seemed to be fine. Zack arrived just as I was leaving the clinic. I was put on semi-bed rest until the bleeding stopped. The next week was one of the hardest of my life. What if I was losing the baby. I continued to have bleeding and some cramping for several days. I realized just how much I wanted this baby. I remember thinking, if I lose this baby it will have to be delivered. The bleeding finally stopped. The doctor thought the pressure from the growing baby must have broken a blood vessel. God began to give me peace about this new baby. I knew he would provide for us and give us strength.

We found out in the beginning of December that it would be another boy.

Second pregnancies are so much harder than first. I don't remember ever being that exhausted. Conner was still sleeping so poorly and Zack was gone all the time. I remember falling asleep on the floor in Conner's room while he would play.

Part 2 will continue with the week of the birth...

Promises

This promise encouraged me today.

"Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it."
~Proverbs 22:6

This verse challenged and convicted me.

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children,
and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
and when you walk by the way,
and when you lie down, and when you rise."
~Deuteronomy 6:5-7

God, please give me strength and patience. I feel so inadequate and weary.

Little Encouragements

Isn't it nice how God gives little encouragements when you need them most?

Potty training has not been going so well. I'm trying to remember that we're calling it "potty leaning" and it takes time. He isn't going to learn over night. I knew it would be a slow process, but I didn't think that it would be this slow. Having to stop through out the day and take time for potty breaks has gotten old for both me and Conner. This tired Momma has enough on her plate. God knew both Conner and I needed some encouragement. I was watching Conner and thought maybe he needed to go, but I was too tired to mess with it. Then a miracle happened. He went over to the potty on his own and sat down! I was so excited and made a big deal about it and gave him a prize. When I checked his training pants he had already gone a little in his pants, but that's ok. It was the first time he had realized he was going and tried to do it in the potty. He was just a little late on the timing.

Both boys have been a handful lately. Neither of them have slept well at night or during the day for awhile. It's easy for me to get discouraged and think I'm not a very good Mom and wonder why everyone else seems to have perfect kids. It's so hard to see progress at this age! God allowed me to see some sweetness and progress in Conner last night. Shep was trying to drink for this cup that his a little straw. He was tipping it back to try to drink, but since it has a straw you have to hold the cup down. I might also add that it was Conner's cup of water. Not only did Conner willingly share the water with Shep, but I looked over and he was helping Shep. He was holding the cup down for him to help him drink it.

I know both of those things seem very small, but they encouraged me and reminded me that what I'm doing IS important and that Conner IS learning and growing.

I'm a Big Boy!

Shep really thinks he's a big boy. He thinks he can do whatever Conner does. It's funny how the second child learns certain things much younger just from watching an older sibling(s). I handed him a fork one day to see what he would do with it. He knew just what to do and began to feed himself mango chunks.

He usually favors his right hand, but today he decided to try eating with his left some.




Last night Shep officially slept through the night. He went to bed at 6:30, woke up at 5 am, nursed and went back to sleep until 6:40 am. Woohoo!! I really hope this is a new trend, but I try not to get too excited=P

Shep is real good at clapping and making the "Indian sound" with his hand and mouth. He LOVES to go outside and gets positively giddy if I reach for my keys or start walking towards the door. He loves to go for walks and points the whole time. Conner and I were trying to teach him animals sounds and he growls for all of them.

He's taking steps and loves to show off his walking skills=) I can't believe he'll be one in just a little over 6 weeks! Since I never wrote his birth story or the events leading up to his birth, I'm going to do that soon in honor of his birthday! Stay tuned...