Sleep Deprivation

I almost got a good night's sleep last night. I think Shep would have slept all night, if Conner hadn't woken up at 4 am. When Conner wakes up, he doesn't just cry, he screams. It took Shep almost an hour of crying in his bed to fall back asleep. Zack and I ended up on the couch and love seat for the rest of the night and Conner woke up bright and early at 6:30.

I've never been a morning person and my boys are. I've never been good at functioning on little sleep. Most nights I get around 6 hrs. I'm a wimp, I know.

Sometimes I feel like I never get a break from being a Mom. I never get to just be Molly or just be a wife. I think the biggest surprise of motherhood was what a 24/7 job it is. I knew babies required a lot of care, but I think I still somehow thought I would get to sleep in etc. Haha!!

I thought Shep was going to be a good sleeper. He slept well the first 4 months, but the last 6 months, well...I made some mistakes with Conner and I tried to learn from them. I think the main reason Shep doesn't sleep is that he has to be in our room. We wake him up. Our apartment situation isn't ideal. We have two bedrooms and they share a wall.

I've struggled from time to time with wondering why I'm the one who has to have kids that don't sleep at night. I've read a lot about it and tried different methods, but they just haven't worked. I see people who don't do anything at all to get their kids to sleep. Their kids just do it on their own. I get discouraged about it. It seems like such a small thing for God to do. God, you created the universe, can't you please make my babies sleep tonight? Sometimes I feel like I would be a much better Mom, if I just had a little more energy!

I know this is a small thing. I know it will pass. I know God IS good and He IS teaching me things through this little trial. I just get weary.